BACK from F.O.camp. Labels: Nobody.
Thats all.
Nobody-WonderGirls:
I'm a .wonderful. anyway.
Look. Highly emo post. If you're someone thinking of committing suicide, don't really encourage to read. For the author for this post, was being announced dead. And, yeah, i'm the author. Labels: Friends.
It's killing me, like an endless vertigo whirling at the back of my mind, round and round till thoughts tangle and strangle.
If you think i'm gonna stuck in this fcuked up mess, cornering myself to the dead-end and not moving on with this pathetic life, then you're absolutely- right. I'm definitely not. I'm currently in the state of self-destructing, willingly let the pain eat up my heart, mind and soul. Note, it's self-mocking.
If you're going to be all cool about the whole incident and felt that there's nothing much at stake, then please let me know, be it an sms, email or letter. At least get me informed that if i were the only person suffocating myself with agony. And by then, i'll no longer hold it, or go any further.
I should have known better than to rely on you, total reliance on the friendship i thought will going to last. So it left me with me and myself. I chose to believe that you'll understand, but me being wrong cross my mind every now and then i thought about it. It was the negative cells that got into me, but i was taught that negative is reality.
I was hoping i had someone to confide in when i felt the first impact in friendship, i didn't plan to get myself all sensitive over a sentence, i didn't plan to know that i wasn't who she thought as best friend for that moment i ask her back the question, i didn't plan for myself to get hurt when i acted nonchalantly as if it's alright. But i'm a human with blood and tears, emotions and thoughts. I didn't plan it all but it all came to me, attacking me, left me all vulnerable and weak to fight back. But most importantly, i didn't plan for myself to pin on the very last hope and continue believing.
And when i thought i wasn't really alone, you prove me wrong and that was the last straw. So after all, i am. I thought you would have understood me, and know me better than i did. Why am i so fcuked up with the whole small thing and what was it that really got onto my nerves. But i guess, you didn't really realise where i was coming. And definitely, the both of us isn't going to where i thought we would. So, after all nobody understands me.
It's all the memories that kept me holding on, the soul talks we had when we walked the dark alleys home, the kind of understanding, you knew i'm always grumpy in the morning, i understands how you regret after you do or say things impulsively, you knew how my mood varies and how weird i am, i understands how you could get excited over the smallest issues. And here i am, looking so pathetic and desperate for attentions which i don't know whether you'll give or not.
Everyone was pursuing for happiness in life, from young to old, every minutes they're doing so. But i'm not, at least not now. I wanted to be unhappy, i wanted to feel pain, i wanted to cry out so loud, i wanted to vent out my emotions. Revealing through words were the most i can do. And for once, I ever hated myself so much for not having the courage to just let it out, everything and it'll sooner or later be fine, be it in the good way or bad.
I wasn't a optimistic and strong person to start with. Once wounded, instead of let it heal, i cut it deeper. After all, you do know how much it took me to trust and how easy it get me to doubt.
Signing off;
Thanks, my two bestfriends, if you haven realised how sensitive i am.
Happy Valentines and Happy birthday to Chia Xiao Qin, Jessica haha, i like writing her full name out.
On the oh-so-lame valentines day which was invented by some hopeless-romantic-people, i had a date. Hahaha, the idea of me having a date would have you puking right now perhaps. So let me continue, i had a date with all my working colleagues, the total of 5 people and 2 kids of my manager. Such a great combination. We had a picnic plan. And it happen at night when it suppose to be in the evening, people are always late. Haha, especially them! Hee.
It turn out to be so out of control with Ema who gets drunk because she almost drank the whole bottle of alcohol, and that was how i thought artiste really act like drunkens well. But seriously, it wasn't embarrasing but hilarious. Her comments were really random and funny, makes me laugh hard everytime she speaks. Hehe. Okay, so perhaps it's me who's embarrasing them. But serious, her confusing who's Joseph and who's John and the conversation between Joseph kept on persuading Ema to go to the Bikini bar was some jokes that'll rank top for my jokes for the year.
When the whole picnic ended, it was already midnight and we missed last train and bus. Poor thing, one of them need to work early next day, haix. And KeQi and me struggled to go home. We were so poor to take cabs, and my responsible father was so responsible not to send us home instead went back sleeping. Great day.
Samantha's birthday. One after one, i bet you're as tired as me if you have being continuously reading. But i still thank you for doing so. Labels: Happy birthday Samantha chua wx.
We got her a head-phone, and i didn't know she had a thing for bulky stuff until then, haha. Her birthday was simplest cause we don't have time to plan surprises. Before that, we went to ADSS, our EX-school to retrieve our medals and trophy but end up most of us got only certificates because our awards went MIA. By the time we reach tech-hub, we really felt fortunate. Wanna know why? Go for a trip there and you'll know why. Anyway, that's the reason why we were running late for her birthday celebration at Lot1.
Sam had it planned in Ajisen, and that marked my first trip there. We were the last to reach so we went to collect the cake which Karen and guys had ordered earlier and decided to make it a small surprise by singing birthday song when she didn't expect it. It was quite awkward as other customers seemed to ignore the blissful atmosphere around us and continue being dull, that's the difference between youngsters and adults, you try singing birthday song in MacDonalds and do the same thing in a Elderly community club, see who will throw you out before you end your last sentence: Happy Birthday tooooo y-.
Anyway, got my blogshop stuff that day too but wasn't of my best mood. Helen would have being flush down the toilet bowl if she continued to test my patience. Then we took a group photo, i had to admit, it's weird when a large group of people doing so outside Ajisen, but it's okay, teenagers should throw more face. LOL.
Month of Jan and Feb were disastrous, for poor people like me. Birthday presents were never the cheapest things to buy. Labels: Happy Birthday Ah-Niao.
WeiYi's birthday was sweet and simple, just like her, haha. Don't brag too much okay. I knew it's fortunate to get praise by me. Hahahaha. LOL.
Once again, we didn't celebrate on actual day, haix, it almost become a tradition for the year. Luckily for Sam, she turn out to be modern. Lol, if you didn't get the inside joke, it's alright. We met up earlier for some surprises for her, which was spotted out by the blurrest person in the world. Yeah, you win liao lor, eye became so sharp at the best moment. Cause we were waiting for her below her block, planning to shock her with a cake and birthday song when she step out of the lift and leave her there like a stunned bird whose worm was snatched away by another bird. Lol, ignore the last part. I forget to mention that one of us suggested to put the gift we bought for her which was a very nice bird necklace into her mailbox. Haha, suits her isn't it?
Anyway, the plan was great, if i'd remember her unit number ;) hee, so the party pooper is actually me. Nono, i did make an effort to go up and try to recognise her house but i didn't, at first i thought it was the unit whose family was having a small barbeque-ing session, i swear, i wasn't being bias. But i was wrong. Haha, people who knew me should not had believed me in the first place, i was the last person to trust with with my poor memory. And there comes JiaEn, the best swindler award goes for her. I started to be aware with the information i divulged to her from that moment. Haha, you're kidding me, she even know my POSB bank password for god's sake. I guess. She managed to get WeiYi to tell her her unit number and we didn't have enough time to put it in, that time was very crucial cause she could walk out of the lift any seconds then. So we were in a mess while putting the necklace inside. But we still manage to do so. Not forgetting KeQi threw it to me and it landed very hard on my head first.
The next thing was something we didn't thought of, i think it's because the most practical person, KeQi woke up from the wrong side of bed, had miscalculated that she would walk another direction instead of towards us. Actually we were quite stupid haha, we meeting her at JiaEn's bus stop which is her right but we're standing on the left hahahahaha. Then we quickly followed behind her trying to reach the bus stop before her or appear in front of her suddenly for the backup plan. But very funny, when she was about to cross the road, she's a very safe person to jay-walk with because she look right, look left and she spotted us. I swear to my mum that we'd tried our best to hide, it's just that four person hiding behind a thin tree wasn't the ideal way.
And ta-da she found out but we decided to play dumb. Hee, and it turn out to fail lar, definitely. We later had a mini celebration in Gelare. And the story continues with me being broke and WeiYi later being broke because of... what to do? We're just four gamblers sitting around a table but one lose until drop pants. And that person happened to the person who spotted our plan out. Haha, revenge is sweet.
And that's all for WeiYi's birthday. Happy belated birthday! Ah-Niao.
Happy Birthday Chua Ke Qi! I know by the time i post this up, it'll be way belated, hehe. Labels: Happy birthday Chua-Ah-Bu.
Born in 1921, jan 27th. LOL, yep, she invested quite a lot in Botox. We didn't help her to celebrate on her actual birthday but one day later instead. Who ask her to be so fortunate to be a new year baby this year haha. Maybe not quite didn't celebrate, JiaEn; Helen; Sam and me did went to her house during that night and sleep over. I think it's counted. Anyway, they have a lot of cheeks, nice statement. I mean, Helen and i seriously went there as though we had no place to sleep while they drank alcohol. Great job in isolating us. Haha, but as much as we had nothing to do but watch, it still kept us entertained. They were comedians when drunk. And did i mention, we got a AngBao from KeQi's mother by sleeping over? Hees, it's a double joy after getting one from Helen's.
28th was a pleasant day, firstly we got another AngBao from WenJie's mother and felt really paiseh for it cause we're like freeloaders. Hee. Then our KBox plan was crashed by the exclusive New year package, which was extremely unreasonable for the pricing. We ended up in cinema watching movie then we celebrated her birthday at Sakura restaurant. Eventful day. Firstly Ily decided not to join us because of some problems which i'd forgotten what was it. Then, it was damn coincidental to be at the same venue, same timing with a group who happen to be the last group of people in our minds to meet up with, especially when the restaurant wasn't really a place you go frequently. Anyway, i hope the birthday girl for the previous day had fun. Susan and a few of us planned for some sort of surprises which turn out to be very successful. And Ah-bu was really unprepared so that makes the surprise more surprising haha.
The surprise was plan out this way. Firstly, Susan Peh, who was the last to reach was supposed to buy a cake while we walk towards Sakura. But half-way she called me saying that due to the fact that ske was taking a bus to Sakura, she'll be reaching first. Then a thought came up, credit to don't know who, we somewhat managed to cooperate with the staff there, the world should have more of these helpful people, they help us to keep the cake until we cue them for it. Haha but later on they help us to play the birthday song when we surprise her. I know it sounds sian but it's enjoyable if you're present. At least for me i guess.
Anyway, Birthday kuai le.
