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When people committed suicide, it's so easy to comment about how wasted their lives were... How people will be sad over their deaths.

Now I understood.

Suicidal thoughts were derived from the expected reactions from others after death.

Before the act, no one bothered. No one valued their insignificant lives, no one appreciated when they are alive.

"An eye for an eye"

They wish to make the people around them feel the same misery, they wish to tell them how depressed they were feeling, and these cannot be conveyed through words, but through experiencing the same agony. They wish to know how much they were valued by others, by witnessing what extent of pain others feel. They wish to punish those who didn't bothered by haunting them in every of their nights.

I'm so bored. I've ran out of things to do with my dear dear laptop. So decided to update -.-

Can tell how bored I am.



And adbfahgcgdasdasdfasfadssgsdasdadfasdfadasdsdfasdfasdfadffghfdgsdfhdfsdfa.

Why are you such a mystery too?

Labels: Bored

And the strange thing is,

the stronger one collapsed.




And look at what happened to the one who went on complaining everyday?

Labels: Cinderella's sister

So tired. So many things accumulating again.

The sudden realization hits you that your life is so messed up actually.

Suddenly realized how everything I do is just so lousy, that in order to feel good, I have to avoid them.

All the smiles, all the laughters come so naturally to me when I'm facing people. But they're just facade. It's a natural reaction to mask now.

And perhaps being like this, making other's life easier, people will be less aware that you have emotions too, and they just hurt you so insensitively, thinking that you wouldn't mind anyway.

I want to let out but my pride is holding me back. And then as time passes, all the stuffs in my heart accumulate again and everything repeats.

If unable to cry means that I'm not really sad, then maybe... I'm not really sad.

Labels: Again.

http://sharababy.pixnet.net/blog/post/31052367

我以前總以為我不愛哭

被別人數落 我不會哭

被別人嘲笑 我不會哭

被別人誤會 我不會哭

被別人欺負 我不會哭

因為我總覺得

如果在別人面前哭

好像就擺明了自己很懦弱

或是會被別人認為甚麼都不會 只會哭

每次當我受委屈想哭想反駁的時候

就會告訴自己絕對不能哭 也絕對不能說任何一句話

要是哭了就輸了

而我不想輸

我總以為要讓我哭很難

但是漸漸的

我們隨著年齡增長

卻沒有變得比較勇敢

能讓人哭的原因反而越來越多

當你看清這個世界

當你明白某些事情

當你領悟生命的短暫

當你將緊握的手鬆開

當你失望 絕望

有時候

並不是自己說不哭

就能夠如此輕易的忍住

又或許有時候只是因為不敢哭

怕不小心掉一滴眼淚

就足以打翻所有的思緒

回憶那麼多

要流多少眼淚才夠

因為不想哭

所以躲開你善意的擁抱

離開前

勉強自己留下一個微笑

然後我看到一面鏡子

鏡子裡的笑容好虛假

開始猜想到底平常是怎麼笑的

我對著鏡子微笑 露齒笑 瞇著眼笑 開懷大笑

試圖用笑容找回本該存在的快樂

卻只看見眼淚

從微笑的眼角滑落

Labels: First post extracted from other's blog

I'll protect and take care of them. I'll earn a lot of money for them to lead a good life. I will ensure they are well taken care of, if one day I have to go.

Labels: If one day I have to go.

You're such a disappointment.

Labels: Post-