When people committed suicide, it's so easy to comment about how wasted their lives were... How people will be sad over their deaths.
Now I understood.
Suicidal thoughts were derived from the expected reactions from others after death.
Before the act, no one bothered. No one valued their insignificant lives, no one appreciated when they are alive.
"An eye for an eye"
They wish to make the people around them feel the same misery, they wish to tell them how depressed they were feeling, and these cannot be conveyed through words, but through experiencing the same agony. They wish to know how much they were valued by others, by witnessing what extent of pain others feel. They wish to punish those who didn't bothered by haunting them in every of their nights.
I'm so bored. I've ran out of things to do with my dear dear laptop. So decided to update -.- Labels: Bored
Can tell how bored I am.
And adbfahgcgdasdasdfasfadssgsdasdadfasdfadasdsdfasdfasdfadffghfdgsdfhdfsdfa.
Why are you such a mystery too?
And the strange thing is, Labels: Cinderella's sister
the stronger one collapsed.
And look at what happened to the one who went on complaining everyday?
So tired. So many things accumulating again. Labels: Again.
The sudden realization hits you that your life is so messed up actually.
Suddenly realized how everything I do is just so lousy, that in order to feel good, I have to avoid them.
All the smiles, all the laughters come so naturally to me when I'm facing people. But they're just facade. It's a natural reaction to mask now.
And perhaps being like this, making other's life easier, people will be less aware that you have emotions too, and they just hurt you so insensitively, thinking that you wouldn't mind anyway.
I want to let out but my pride is holding me back. And then as time passes, all the stuffs in my heart accumulate again and everything repeats.
If unable to cry means that I'm not really sad, then maybe... I'm not really sad.
http://sharababy.pixnet.net/blog/post/31052367 我以前總以為我不愛哭 被別人數落 我不會哭 被別人嘲笑 我不會哭 被別人誤會 我不會哭 被別人欺負 我不會哭 因為我總覺得 如果在別人面前哭 好像就擺明了自己很懦弱 或是會被別人認為甚麼都不會 只會哭 每次當我受委屈想哭想反駁的時候 就會告訴自己絕對不能哭 也絕對不能說任何一句話 要是哭了就輸了 而我不想輸 我總以為要讓我哭很難 但是漸漸的 我們隨著年齡增長 卻沒有變得比較勇敢 能讓人哭的原因反而越來越多 當你看清這個世界 當你明白某些事情 當你領悟生命的短暫 當你將緊握的手鬆開 當你失望 絕望 有時候 並不是自己說不哭 就能夠如此輕易的忍住 又或許有時候只是因為不敢哭 怕不小心掉一滴眼淚 就足以打翻所有的思緒 回憶那麼多 要流多少眼淚才夠 因為不想哭 所以躲開你善意的擁抱 離開前 勉強自己留下一個微笑 然後我看到一面鏡子 鏡子裡的笑容好虛假 開始猜想到底平常是怎麼笑的 我對著鏡子微笑 露齒笑 瞇著眼笑 開懷大笑 試圖用笑容找回本該存在的快樂 卻只看見眼淚 從微笑的眼角滑落
Labels: If one day I have to go.
I'll protect and take care of them. I'll earn a lot of money for them to lead a good life. I will ensure they are well taken care of, if one day I have to go.
You're such a disappointment. Labels: Post-
